# How to call the Police



## GreenNeedle (15 Aug 2008)

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips of Marsh Green, Wigan was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. 

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. 
He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. 

'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them.' Then he hung up. 

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed. 

One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!' 
George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!' 

I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!


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## a1Matt (15 Aug 2008)

absolutely brilliant.


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## Mark Evans (15 Aug 2008)

great, and very true.


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## nickyc (15 Aug 2008)

Brilliant!  Properly laughing out loud!


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## jay (15 Aug 2008)

Thats awesome, where you get it from?


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## LondonDragon (15 Aug 2008)

Not new but great non the less


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## TDI-line (16 Aug 2008)

Classic punch line, brilliant.


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## Themuleous (16 Aug 2008)

Nice!


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## GreenNeedle (16 Aug 2008)

I got it from our new local forum for Lincoln people which we set up because another site which was seperated into different local forums decided they wanted to nationalise it because all the other regions had few posters whereas the Lincoln section was very busy.  Therefore we left. lol 

http://lincolnmaniacs.niceboard.net/

I wouldn't register on it because it is supposed to be local to Lincoln but there are a fair few good jokes and stories appear on there


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## aaronnorth (18 Aug 2008)

My relative did that, people were putting her window through so she phoned the police - nobody available so she said they were inside smahing it up - they soon come out then


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## a1Matt (18 Aug 2008)

I had to call the police out when someone broke into my house last year.  I wasn't expecting much of a response.  I've got to say though I was really impressed... had 2 officers, sniffer dog and handlers, and forensics all at my house out within 30 min. Not bad for 3am  

They caught the bloke a week later driving round in a stolen car!


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