If it wasn't for the catching it myself thing, I could much more easily continue and put up with it and fight it with more vigour. Or if it was in a smaller, lowtech tank that I didn't need to do constant big waterchanges and maintenance on it almost daily. Though if I think about it, to be honest in a tank like that I would've taken it all down already, I think I have just been delaying the agony cos I'm attached. Last night I found my male apisto hiding vertically right in the back corner amongst some echinodorus leaves, he looked dead until I moved the leaves and he swam off. He didn't come and eat dinner. Plus the pygmy cory with this big white thing on it, not good signs.
Now I can see that fish are still suffering from it and not looking healthy as they should be, I think it is time. Just because I can't see all the symptoms overtly doesn't mean they aren't there. I do worry that they are already suffering. I don't want to need jabs or strong months-long antibiotics because of my hobby, even if it's a small chance, I've already had bad luck having it in the tank in the first place! Seems like not a risk worth taking. Every sick fish feels like it's just confirming the threat, just confirming the doom of it. I think it is time. Planning on doing it on Good Friday for symbolism or something idk. Then a few days of cleaning everything EXTREMELY thoroughly. I miss the fun and joy of the tank. Will be taking lots of photos this week and try and get it to look as nice as possible before taking it down.
Thank you guys for all your kind thoughts and well wishes and support, it has made this whole ordeal much less awful. Should I close this journal after this and start a new one with a new scape? Or carry on with this one? That seems sad to me too tbh.
I don't think it's silly, I would have hoped for some relief from the fish becoming sick after setting up the UV steriliser, euthanasing all the pencils and changing the sand and botanicals but it looks as though the infection is deeply embedded.
It's easier to give someone advice about what they should do than stand in front of your own tank & make the same decision after putting so much time & energy into it's creation. I know I would find it a real struggle.
Describing it as destroying the tank implies violence & you're not breaking it apart you're helping the fish pass without struggling & suffering.
I know I could wait and maybe some fish would be ok, but it would be at the expense of many of the fish suffering. Getting the results back from the vet and seeing how absolutely riddled the pencils were, they must have been suffering for a while even if the obvious symptoms only appeared a day or two before testing. I know that I am so close that I can't see the whole situation tbh, I really value everyone's advice on it, I have noticed how many people would just start again. To take it down is sad but it has also been really beautiful and I have learnt so much from it, I'll take many ideas and lessons from it into future tanks.
Your mental and physical health is priority number one, and we stand behind you no matter which route you go for. The mental toll and added physical risk of a lengthy process is definitely a consideration
Big hugs Hufsa, thank you for being so lovely during all of this <3 It is just grim all the time. I miss the frolicking fish and experimentation with plants. And being able to shove my hand in and rearrange twigs. We will get back to it very soon though.
Hello
@shangman,
You don’t know me at all but I have been reading along and I feel sorry your fish tank situation. Just had to react now to say that I really agree with your mum (yeah I know very creepy). I would never let a situation like this carry on. As you wrote it takes a toll mentally and definitely reduces the enjoyment of the hobby, to zero perhaps? Then there is a risk of cross-contaminating your other aquariums while this lasts, and a (probably very small?) risk of you or your family members getting infected and becoming ill.
Anyhow, don’t take my words too seriously, there are more experienced advisors here. Take care!
I have seen you posting on UKAPS before
🙂 And not creepy to agree with my mum lol, she is right. Once she said it last night I knew it, it's a fair judgement. When it's laid out clearly as you have, it is obvious. And honestly, this whole ordeal really has removed the enjoyment. I've been furiously looking at other lovely tanks and imagining what I might do next so I can feel some excitement rather than dread, but it doesn't work that well. You guys do make me feel better, but I would rather be showing you fabulous things than endless stories about all the horrifying things my fish are suffering of. It just needs to be done.
If you think it's time, it's time. You have no duty to others to draw things out in order to document it. It is perhaps best for both you and the fish to take that step now, with the full support of us here.
I've had to euthanise very special fish and it hurts but at least we are able to do the best for them when that time comes. We take on the responsibility of caring for them and sometimes that means ending any potential suffering.
You're right as always Mort. It is unfortunately close to putting my cat down last month, it's not something I want to do but it is necessary to stop the suffering and give the final kindness we can to our creatures. Next time I'll do what I can to avoid this again, but it has sort of taught me that sometimes bad luck just gets you.
